Dear darling daughters,
They
say love can either come slowly or it can come fast. When it does comes fast, the chances of falling hard are high. Seeing you for the first time today, I fell fast and
hard. It didn’t take long for you to wrap me around your fingers and let your
sweet faces make my heart so giddy I felt like it could burst. Like a mother
waits in anticipation for her unborn baby or the adoption of her child, so I
have waited in anticipation for you. I have dreamed about you, had my thoughts
consumed with you and eagerly prepared my heart for you up until this day. Technically,
I should have walked into a room full of strangers today.
But I walked into a room full of my daughters. You are my girls. And I
love you all with a deep, deep love. I think I knew that long before meeting you.
There are a few things I want you to hear from your foster mama.
I want you to know that my love for you is not a reflection
of the goodness and charity in my human heart. You are not a charity case. You
are not a good volunteer opportunity. You are not “a year abroad to serve the
less fortunate”. You are so much more than that. And you are loved by something
much bigger than the mere passion in my heart. You are loved by me because I am
loved by God. I desire to give you no other love than that of what God has
already graciously lavished onto me. Because that kind of love pierces through darkness, tears down the
strongest of walls and heals the most painful, deep, broken parts of your
heart- something that my sheer humanness cannot even come close to giving you.
I want you to know that I am not naïve to your pain. When I
look into each of your eyes, I see so much more than a sweet, silly, beautiful little
girl. I see a forced maturity, a robbed childhood, the injustice and cruelty of
this world. I want you to know that I will fight to see that you get innocence,
justice, and carefree pieces of childhood handed back to you. I can’t promise
you a lot of things, but I can promise you that when you come to live with me,
we will start a journey together towards your healing and restoration. I
promise to lighten your load, to carry your burdens with you and to invite your pain to be mine, too.
I am not perfect. I will not be a perfect foster mother to you. I will fail you and it will be more than once. But in my both my failure and my victory as your foster mom, I hope to point you towards the only true perfection, the only flawless parent, your healing place and strong tower where you will never be shaken. His name is Jesus. And He will never, ever fail you.
I pray that our home is a sanctuary of safety, security and peace for you. I pray that when you experience the love of a mother, you experience
the love of your Father in heaven. I pray that when I make mistakes and need
your forgiveness, you see my humility. I pray that when you see me, you really
just see Jesus. He is the best thing I will ever give you.
Darling daughters, I wait in great hope for you to come
home. You are loved by so many already.
Love,
Natalie Akka
