Meet the Kids

It has been almost one month since I became a foster mama and two weeks since I became a foster mama to nine kids. Life has been a whirlwind for sure and it has perhaps been the most challenging months of my life (lots more to say about that, but that is for a different blog). But, this post is solely reserved for officially introducing you all to children I am lucky enough to be a foster parent to. I can’t wait to share them all with you.

I’ll start with my oldest...

Gemma 

I remember the first time I saw Gemma in the orphanage. There was something about her that I immediately felt connected to and something so graceful and beautiful I saw when I just sat and stared at her. She carries this profound strength with her that both amazes me and breaks my heart. She is 10 years old, although she has lived through more life than most people on this earth ever will. I didn’t have to read through her paperwork of how she became an orphan to know that about her. You can see that the world has done a number on her when you really look into her eyes. There is a strength about her that is forced. She’s had to be strong in order to survive. And then there is the other side of her strength that just completely puts me in awe. She possesses true joy and she has this smile that takes over her whole face-the kind where her eyes get really squinty and every muscle in her face is flexed. She is so determined, so brilliant and comes alive by the things in life that really matter. Just writing about her here makes me teary… she is so special. I get really excited thinking about Gemma and her future. The other day, we were looking at the pictures hanging on my wall and she pointed to the picture of me wearing my cap and gown from my college graduation. I told her that I completed college and she gasped out loud saying, “Natty Mummy, college finished!?” I looked at her and said, “Yes, and one day that will be you too. Do you want to go to college, Gemma?” She looked back at me with the surest look on her face and said, “Yes.”

Then you will go to college, sweetheart.

Violet

Violet is my little creative mastermind. One of the first things that impressed me so much about her is the way she experiences the world. I will often find her sketching in her notebooks, coloring elaborate patterns, creating Indian designed murals on the sidewalk with chalk, drumming on the plastic shed on our rooftop, or making anything ordinary into something extraordinary. She is introverted and likes doing things in her own space at her own pace and in her own time. She is the mother to the little ones, as many of them looked to her in the orphanage before coming home with me. One of my favorite things about Violet is her childlike spirit. She is 10 years old and she too, like Gemma, has been exposed to the worst of the world. She may not be innocent, but she still has such a childlike beauty about her. She will snuggle up in my lap like a little baby sometimes and she will still squeal with the most joyful delight when I kiss her every night for bed. I love that about her because it’s a sign of hope- hope that there is still so much childhood she has left and yet to live.

Stella

The first day I met Stella in the orphanage, I knew she was going to add so much to our home and family. I remember looking over at her and seeing her doing a little Indian dance and singing to herself. When she caught me looking at her, she got so embarrassed and put her hands over her mouth in laughter. Stella is my girly girl, my diva and my sassy 8 year old. She loves all things pink and purple and insists on wearing lipstick, eyeliner (its an Indian thing for kids to wear eyeliner here, I know I know I’m a horrible mom for letting my 8 year old wear makeup) clips, necklaces, bracelets and her best outfit to school everyday. Stella is very sensitive and it doesn’t take much for her to be offended or upset or easily hurt. In some ways, I feel like I know her really well and other times, I feel like she is a giant mystery to me. When she gets really upset or is crying because one of her sisters said something mean to her, she shuts down completely. And that is when I know there is so much more behind those tears than a hurtful word her sister said. I sense a lot of lies that have been spoken over her that have really done a damaging thing to her self-esteem. There are a lot of good things in store for this one, I am sure of it. I am excited to get to know those mysterious parts of her, to watch her experience more of the world and to watch the truth spoken over who she really is wash her clean.

Livy 

Oh goodness, do I have something to say about this child. Livy is my goofy, silly, hilarious little comedian. I laugh just thinking about her and all the funny things she does. Part of her hilariousness is that she thinks almost anything and everything is funny in its own way. She is always laughing at something and when you really get her going, she will drop to the floor and roll around in the best belly laugh…she laughs with her whole body which is a sight to see! I love Livy because she brings out the weird, goofy side of me that often doesn’t really come out in India. We recently just made up this game where I’ll look at her wherever she is in the room and say “Hey Livy! Bust a move!” and then she will do a dance move. Then she will say, “Hey Natty Mummy! Bust a move!” and then I will do a dance move. We will go back and forth busting our moves for each other. She thinks its hilarious and I think its hilarious watching her do her funny little dance moves and hear her tell me to bust a move in her broken English, Indian accent. I have a special love for my Livy girl- the way she makes me laugh, the way she will snuggle her head into my shoulder while we sit on the couch, the kisses she smothers me with every night at bedtime…she makes me feel so loved as her mama. In so many ways, I feel like she could very well be my biological child with the way her personality reminds me so much of myself when I was her age. I adore her spunk, her quirkiness and even her mischief that somehow is one of her most endearing qualities.

Jayla

She was another one I just felt a natural connection to the first day I met her in the orphanage. I remember she was all over the place, running in and out of the room all of the time and I could never really get a moment with her. She would come in and tease me with her smile and then run away again. When I went to go pick up the first round of girls, I was told I could take the oldest four. Somehow, I managed to sneak in little Jayla with the group because I wanted her home so badly. For our first week, she was my baby. Jayla is always into something new, always exploring, can’t ever sit still and her curiosity and urgency to run for something new is constant. Snuggle sessions with her usually last a minute but oh my, do they warm this mama’s heart. The other day, my nurse (aka my translator) was talking to her about how she was liking school, as it’s the first time she has ever gone. I loved watching the way her eyes lit up when she talked about it and hearing from my nurse that she is making so many new friends, is loving her teachers and all of the fun activities they do everyday. My other little ones who have never been to school are still warming up to this new daily routine in their lives and they aren’t so sure about it. I love the way Jayla has walked into the newness of this life with such confidence and boldness just because it’s in her nature to be that way. She is fearless and there is such a remarkable strength about her, even as a 4 year old. I love hearing that she is making so many friends at school because I know she is easily making her way into being the girl everyone wants to be friends with. Such a bright future in store for this little one!

Rosie

My shy and quiet little one. There’s a lot going on in that little head of hers and I can tell already that she is an internal processor, taking everything in to herself. She is slow to warm up but I know there is a kid in there I have yet to discover. I love watching her play and rough house with her sisters because she is so comfortable with them and in so many ways, it just gives me a glimpse of more of the fun, playful little girl she is. I can see a lot of fear in Rosie- often times she will just wake up in the middle of the night crying and I will have to put her back to sleep. She is learning how to trust and has a lot of walls built up. But everyday I see a little more of those walls come down. In the hug I receive from her when I walk through the door or the grin on her face when I kiss her goodnight, Rosie is learning how to let love in, slowly but surely in her own time. I’m excited to continue unraveling more and more of the beautifully complex little person she is.

Luz

Luz is our newest addition to the family! I named her online name Luz (pronounced "Luce"), which means light in Spanish because she has brought just that to our clan. She is a peacemaker in our home. Her gentleness and delicate demeanor stop my rowdy girls in their tracks and brings such sweetness out in them. She is our baby, as she is the youngest in age and is cognitively delayed. It’s been really special watching the way my girls have cared for her as big sisters and really taken her under their wing. Luz was relinquished by her mother not even two weeks ago out of a lack of resources to continue caring for her. Although she seems to be doing just fine with us, her emotional outbursts of crying are very telling of the confusing change she is going through. Despite the pain she is enduring, she is an absolute joy to our family. She keeps us all laughing with her funny quirks and silly facial expressions and we are so happy to have her!

A lot of change has happened in our home this past month as we have attempted to settle into a routine and learn the rhythms of our family dynamic. Nothing about this month has been predictable and it definitely has not gone the way I envisioned it would, but we have finally arrived and I am happy to report that this new season of life for all of us is in full swing. I have this feeling that our family will always be changing for the better this year, as we have kids getting ready to go home to their adoptive parents or moving to different SCH foster homes that better fit their needs. I am comforted by the fact that God will continually be surprising me this year and using that to stretch my vision for this home and these kids. Change is good and I’m excited for all that is to come!