Hospital Adventures

Wow! This past week has been insane. After one week of being sick, 5 days of which were spent in the hospital, I am now back home in our apartment and almost back to my complete health. It’s been a whirlwind of a week, and I’m glad it’s over. Here’s the whole story…

One week ago, I woke up with a sore throat, achy body, and a headache…pretty much the symptoms of a little virus or the flu, right? After a few days of lying in bed trying my best to recover, my symptoms only increased and got worse. I now had a rash all over my body and was so weak I could barely lift myself out of bed. So, Naomi came over and she and Grace took me to the doctor. They drew some of my blood and when the results came back, my white blood cell count was extremely high, indicating a severe infection in my body. So I was admitted to the hospital where I stayed for 5 days. My symptoms definitely got worse before it got better so my first few days were not pleasant. It was discouraging and scary… to be on the other side of the world in a developing country in the hospital with nurses who don’t understand English injecting a bunch of unknown and unfamiliar medication into me. I had a few breakdowns of “I just want my mom” And, “Someone get me a plane ticket to America NOW” Yes, it was an experience that I never want to revisit and am so thankful that I am standing on the other side of it now.

On my third day in the hospital, I woke up feeling the worst I had ever felt. I could barely lift my head and when I finally did, it was to throw up. My body was so sick and so was my spirit. I was discouraged. I was scared. I missed my family. It was my lowest point. So I had Grace turn on some worship music for me so I could focus on something else. The minute she turned it on, tears began flowing from my eyes. I wish I could put into words what exactly God did in this moment but my words don’t even come close. But Jesus came. He came with his perfect and all sufficient love and comfort and He met me in my darkest hour. And as he held me there, He engulfed me with the praises of His name. These songs I have heard so many times, but this time it was as if I was hearing them for the first time. It was as if I really understood what these songs were saying. They became so much more powerful to me and the reality of what it meant so much more significant. I was completely awestruck with the beauty, majesty and goodness of God. It was as if Jesus came to sweep me away, to remind me of his extreme power and sovereignty over my circumstance, over my life, over this entire world. My mom told me once, “You just speak His name and He will be there. There is power in saying the name of Jesus.” It’s amazing what filling a depressing, hopeless hospital room with the praises and worship of Jesus will do. I know that in that moment, Jesus came and flooded that hospital room with his presence and restored my spirit with his peace. These are the moments that I fall so much more in love with my savior. These are the moments I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around how much He cares about me. These are the moments I am overwhelmed with how good He is.

I can now say that I am almost back to my full health. I am still a bit weak and don’t fully have my energy and strength back but my health is only improving by the day. Today, I went over to Victory home for about an hour and it felt so good to be back. It had been over a week since I had seen them all and I had especially been missing my little guy. I went into his room and he was all laughs today. The minute I greeted him he was laughing so hard, giving me those good belly laughs. I’ve decided that his laughter is the best medicine. 

Please continue to keep me in your prayers for complete healing and a full recovery. 

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” Psalm 73:26

                                                  

Washing Feet

This past week has been busy and full of lots of fun! On Wednesday, it was Independence Day here in India. We had a big celebration at Victory Home that included a wonderful chaos of balloons, singing, cookies, India flags, and just being together as an SCH family. On Thursday, Grace, the World Race team and I took some kids to the beach! I took Dorothy, a sweet 11-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. She absolutely loved the beach- the sand, the feeling of the waves coming up to greet her, and being carried out into the big waves with one of the world race boys. It is so fun to watch our kids experience the ocean. The smiles on their faces and the sweet sound of their laughter when they feel the rumbling waves come crashing against them, it’s like I get to experience the ocean the for the first time again just by experiencing it with them.

On Friday, we did something really special here at SCH. We had Ayah appreciation day! The Ayah’s are the full time caregivers here at all of the homes for our children. Their job is 24/7 as they live among the children here in the homes. They have, without a doubt, one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. Caring for orphaned children with special needs in India is also one of the “lowest of the low” jobs you can have. These women come mostly from remote villages, are illiterate and uneducated, and many are widowed. With the dominance of the caste system on nearly every part of society here in India, these women are considered to be in the lowest caste. Not only does the caste system decide what job you will have, it defines a persons worth. In India, a person in a low caste has low worth and visa versa. So, you can probably imagine how these women view themselves. It’s heartbreaking, to say the very least.

With all of the hard work our ayah’s do, we as a team decided it would be really cool to have a day that appreciates them and the amazing work they do for our children. We decided to show our appreciation through the washing of their feet. We explained to them that Jesus washed his disciples feet and it is a sign of honor and respect. Then, we washed their feet, one by one. I was so surprised to look up on the first pair of feet I washed and see a steady stream of tears coming from her eyes. They were so touched and so humbled by our simple act of gratitude towards them. In India, getting down and touching or kissing someone’s feet is a huge sign of respect and honor. I don’t think there was a better way to show our appreciation to them than by washing their feet. After I would wash an Ayah’s feet, I would stand up to give them a hug. They all cried, some even wept, into my shoulder and held so tightly onto our hug. It was clear on this day, that these women have never been shown more honor, respect, love, appreciation and gratitude in their entire lives. It wasn’t long after we had washed all of their feet that they were washing ours. In minutes, I watched an atmosphere of brokenness and division turn into a spirit-filled place of healing and unity. To step back and just watch God work so evidently and powerfully in all of our hearts was an amazing thing to see. 

After we gave each ayah a piece of the cake that we had the bakery make special for them, we invited the women who are Christians to get baptized if they had not done so yet. Three women decided to get baptized, one being Cedar’s ayah, and we drove about 30 minutes out in auto rickshaw to the river dam. We got to pray with them and baptize them in one of the most beautiful settings. It was such a wonderful day of break through.

When the day was done, I had so much to reflect on and much that I felt convicted about. I realized that I have been so blinded to these women and their desperate need for love. The way they held so tightly onto me when giving them a hug spoke such a loud and clear message to me and made my heart sink. It sort of slapped me in the face, actually. I see these women every day and yet, I overlook them. I get impatient with them when they don’t do their job the right way or forget to change a diaper. I don’t stare long enough into their eyes to see the pain and brokenness written all over their faces. I have come to serve the orphans and looked past the widows that are right in front of me on a daily basis. Those hugs, those tears, that stare into their eyes was enough for me to realize that I’ve been missing out on a huge opportunity to show love to women who are so completely desperate for it.

Look for people in your day who need love. Don’t let them run into you, look for them. Keep a tuned-in ear, eyes wide open, and a heart willing and ready to the people God wants to love through you. See it as no coincidence for the people you see and interact with in your day. That might sound simple and corny, but I learned that there is amazing opportunity when we live our lives with our eyes wide open to the people God puts in front of us. God is the master planner and designer of our lives and He so specifically puts the people we interact with in our lives for a reason. I don’t want to go another day blinded to the people I have an opportunity to love. I pray that this lesson will keep on teaching me, showing me, pointing out to me the people I can love, the people I can be Jesus for. I pray that my eyes wouldn’t ever go shut and my heart would stay open to the people in my life, no matter where I am or what I am doing, who need to be shown Jesus. There is such power in that, for both of us.

"Never walk away from someone who needs help; your hand is God's hand for that person." Proverbs 3:27 MSG

It's Cedar Day!

Wow, I’m realizing that it’s been a while since I last updated this thing. Sorry about that! Life here lately has been busy, nonetheless full of exciting new things happening here at SCH! Lately, I have been working with the team on our child sponsorship program. We have been working lots on the computer, getting all of the children’s sponsorship files filled out. And as of Saturday, we have officially launched our SCH sponsorship program and our “105 in 105” campaign. Each day, SCH will be featuring a child from SCH in hopes that by the end of “their day”, they will be fully sponsored. The ultimate goal is to get all 105 of our kids sponsored in 105 days. If you are interested in sponsoring a child from SCH, you can easily go to the SCH website, choose the child you would like to sponsor, and then choose from 3 different sponsorship options: a full $200 monthly sponsorship, half sponsorship with a monthly $100 donation, or partially sponsor with a $40 dollar monthly donation. When you sponsor a child, you feed them, put diapers on them, put nutritious food in their bellies, give them vitamins and medicine they need to thrive, pay their caregivers their salary to take care of them 24/7, and give them all the other things like soap, detergent, and toothpaste to stay clean. These might sound like basic, meaningless things but it’s what keeps our kids alive and healthy and is truly what gives them the quality of life that they deserve here at SCH. I can’t think of a group of children more deserving of our support both prayerfully and financially.

We are in day three of our campaign, where we have introduced Lily and Wendy. Today is a especially significant day for me though because today’s child is very dear to my heart. Yes, you guessed it…it’s Cedar’s day! This means that for the day, SCH will feature a blog post about him, with pictures and videos that really give you a taste for who he is and what he is all about. I love today because it’s my excuse to talk about him all that I want and tell everyone I know about how special of a child he is and how beautiful his little life is to me. This day is all about advocating for the life of a 3-year-old little boy who managed to turn my world upside down in a matter of two short months. I don’t think that it was chance that I met Cedar and fell in love with him the way that I did; I think it was God’s wonderful destiny and plan, for both of us. I think it’s evidence that God often uses the least likely individuals to change our lives. I’m thankful he chose Cedar to change mine.

One of the most important things we can do for these kids is to simply be a voice for them. To share their stories that have gone unheard, untold, and have been hidden away from the world. Our job as staff and volunteers of SCH is to bring their struggle and triumphs into the light. Our job is to fight for these kids…fight for their stories to be told, fight for their voices to be heard, fight for their lives to be recognized as miracles and tangible works of God’s grace. I count it an incredible honor to do my part in speaking up for these children.

Will you help me? Will you help me be a voice for Cedar and the children at SCH? Will you consider sponsoring a child fully or partially on a monthly basis? Will you commit to praying for them? Will you help me share their stories?

To see Cedar's child of the day blog post, click here

Pictures by: Nikki Cochrane 

Learning How to Let Go

As of today, it has been exactly one month since I left Seattle to begin my journey back to India. As I look back on the month here, I can’t believe how fast it has flown by! At the same time, so much has happened in this short month from watching Cedar take his first steps on a walker to going on random weekend adventures to the beach to meeting and serving alongside so many other volunteers who have come to work with SCH. It has been a great month! This week is the last week of ability camp for our 4 kids, which means at the end of this week we will be saying goodbye to Nikki and Sarah who have been running the camp everyday for the past month. I will miss them so much as they both have become an amazing source of friendship and laughter while they have been here. On the same morning that Nikki and Sarah will be leaving, my friend from SPU, Will, will be joining us here for a month! I am so excited to see another familiar face and have him become apart of the SCH family. I expect and hope for great things in this next month. I’m looking forward to all of the adventures that still lie ahead!

Lately, I’ve been reading two blogs of two North American women who have moved overseas to Uganda and Nepal to become mothers of abandoned and orphaned children. You can read about them too by clicking HERE and HERE. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve sort of become obsessed with their blogs, reading them from the minute I get home until late into the night. Just reading their stories of how their lives have turned into this amazing dedication to loving the orphaned children in their communities completely inspires me. Especially while I am overseas serving orphans, there isn’t a better time to be inspired by that kind of thing. However, at the same time, I’ve been deeply discouraged by it as well. I see what they have done for these kids, taken them off the streets, given them an education and provided them a loving and healthy home where they can call someone “mom”. I read about that and feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m not serving enough. I’m not sacrificing enough. I’m not giving enough of my life. I’m not giving it all that I’ve got so that I can ensure that these kids are getting the very best of my time here. Lately, I’ve been walking into SCH feeling so completely overwhelmed by all the needs in front of me. I have this urge every time I walk in to want to fix everything and to see the fruit of my labor in the least amount of time. I am impatient and wanting to control everything around me. I don’t want kids to have to sit a minute in their dirty diaper. I want the kids to always have a clean outfit on with no food or dirt on their face. I want to fan every fly out of the building and make sure and give each child hours and hours of physical therapy so that they can reach their full potential physically. I want to spy on the school kids while they are at school and make sure that they are making friends and their teachers are being patient and kind to them. I want to snap my fingers or say a magic word and make all the things that aren’t as they should be made right. I want their childhoods to look like mine, where I was given every opportunity in the world to thrive and grow. I make mental list after mental list of more things I can do to make sure that the home is running in tip-top condition. And still, after all that, I stand there not knowing what to do with myself. I don’t know what baby to go hold first, or what child I should go sit up, or what cerebral palsy stricken legs and arms to stretch out. By the end of the day, I still feel so overwhelmed and unaccomplished.

But that’s because I’ve been comparing myself to these women I read about. I’ve been looking at all that they have done and seeing all that I have yet to do. I’m not trusting Jesus to do this work, to serve these kids, to take care of them, to love them. I am not being faithful with the little things that God has placed in front of me. I am relying on my own strength to ensure a good life for these kids. I’m not humbling myself and stepping aside to let God do the work. I’m looking all that I could potentially do for these kids and ignoring God’s grace and power to accomplish the impossible. What if I chose to see that the hug I gave that child, the rocking to sleep I gave that baby, the kiss on the forehead, the story read aloud, the one-on-one time spent with a child coloring or playing legos as a day of success? What if I just stopped myself, retreated to the foot of the cross and took a real rest in the sufficiency of my Savior? What if I actually trusted God to take care of these children? What if I chose to be faithful with the little things and allowed God to be faithful with the big things?

            And then I go to the place where my heart knows I will find rest. My human heart will often fight this place, but deep down it knows that this is where it will find true peace. I retreat to the cross, where all of my sin and incomplete, broken parts lay, and I ask my “Papa” to come be with me. I ask him to take the burden of trying to fix and control and save. I lay more of my sin down- my lack of faith, my unwillingness to trust, my comparison to others, my pride, my feelings of accomplishment over my works instead of the work of Jesus. And then he holds me, in all of his glory and perfection and sufficiency, and he washes me clean. He re-fixes my limited perspective and reminds me why I am here- to simply love and to make myself invisible so that he can be visible. I’m here to love and care and show compassion to one child at a time. I’m here to pray and believe and watch God work on behalf of these children and assist if necessary. And then, and only then, can I walk into the gates of SCH and be truly free to love as the spirit leads me. I'm falling more in love with Jesus as I fix my gaze on all that He is and all that He can do. Praise the Lord that He is God and I am not. 

"Do not despise the day of small things” Zechariah 4: 10

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
- Leo F. Buscaglia