Dear Penny,
I remember the very first time I laid eyes on you. October 4, 2014. This was the day I met the nine little girls that I had come to India for. It was an overwhelming day and my heart was full to the brim with joy over meeting the girls I would soon become "natty mummy" to. Right before it came time for me to leave, I popped my head in your room across from theirs. There you were, laying on your side with your hand behind your head like a little model. You had the most perfect grin on your face and were completely content amidst the chaos surrounding you. Right then, I didn't see anyone else in the room but you. You captured me immediately. Little did I know then that I came to India for you too...my surprise baby.
So often, I will walk into our living room and see you sitting on the couch so content and happy while all your sisters run crazy around you. When I used to come see you at the government orphanage, the moment you could hear my steps approaching you, your whole body would swell with joy and excitement. You were so happy that someone was coming to see you, to make eye contact with you, to touch you. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the amount of joy you contained amidst such a dull, dark place. Still, I'm amazed when I look over and see you happily sitting alone, smiling and giggling to yourself while you watch your sisters play around you.
Most two year olds your age are throwing tantrums over not getting the color lollipop they want or having to get in their car seat. The only time you ever cry is because you just really want your dinner. You do your "happy dance" when you see your food or milk coming. You give me the sweetest, most gentle smile and place your small hand over mine when I put you in your crib every night. You snuggle your little head into my shoulder whenever you want to take a rest. You are happy just being held all day and don't hold it against your sisters when they may be just a little too rough with you. I can take you absolutely anywhere because you will be happy and content just to look around while your strapped to me. I describe you as the perfect child, the easiest baby because that's pretty much what you are. At least to me you are.
But you are not special because you are easy or content with anything. You are special because you possess a joy that is supernatural. The joy you carry is one of the most pure things I've ever witnessed with my own two eyes. Your joy comes from a place of secured peace inside of you, as if you are deeply anchored in the truth that you know to Whom you belong to and to Whom you are unconditionally loved by. So often, you have brought me to tears from simply watching you live with such grace and such unshaken peace. I know that those moments make me cry because you are showing me Jesus, beaming pure and shining bright out of your little spirit.
You have reminded me why I got a degree in special education. I've always said that the people in the world who seem "broken" by society display the character of Christ most beautifully. For me, God has always used people with disabilities to show me who He is, to show me more of His heart and bring me closer to see the radiance in His face.
When I have felt bullied by darkness, burdened over my head with the messiness of this life and blinded to the good that is still left in this world, you have shown me back to the place where God dwells. You have pulled me closer into His chest so that I can hear his heart beat. You have lifted part of the veil on His face so that I can see the fire in His eyes burning for His people.
And you have done it all without even realizing it...without knowing what an incredible witness to Jesus you are to every single person you meet. There is no doubt that God takes great delight in your powerful little soul. I can't believe I get to witness it everyday. You are such a gift.
Thank you for loving me so well. I love you back with all of my heart, baby.
Love,
Natty Mummy
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