Taking Time to Look

You can read a lot about a person by just looking at their eyes. The deepest of emotions are expressed through the eyes. I would argue that the eyes express more emotion than any other part of the face. Eyes speak loud and can tell entire stories, without any words at all.

I was reminded of this truth this morning when looking through pictures from India. I’ve found myself looking at pictures of India a lot lately, trying to relive the memories through looking at those precious faces, those faces so full of joy I can almost feel my heart experiencing it again just by looking at it on my computer screen. But I stumbled upon this picture of Cedar and his ayah and I was reminded of the kind of feeling I got when I used to look into this woman’s eyes on a daily basis. When I first met her, she barely made eye contact with me at all and humbly went about her job without trying to get in anyone’s way. It was almost awkward at first to make eye contact with her because she was so timid. But I’ll never forget the day when all of the volunteers washed the ayah’s feet for staff appreciation day. I specifically wanted to wash her feet, to honor her and the work she does for our kids at SCH, to finally be able to look her in the eye and show her my appreciation for all that she does. And I’ll never forget the feeling of being so taken back when I looked at her square in the eyes for the first time on that day. I’ll never forget seeing the welling of tears in her eyes when I made her sit down and the steady stream of tears that soon followed as I began to wash her feet. It didn’t take long for me to realize those honest eyes of hers told an entire story. It almost haunts me to remember the kind of raw, deep, intense, and vulnerable emotion I saw when I first looked into her eyes. I saw pain and brokenness. Hurt and hopelessness. Weariness and despair. We didn’t exchange words once that entire summer. Verbal communication with her was never something that happened between us. We communicated only through emotion, through the exchange of eye contact. But I didn’t need words to know the kind of story this woman had. I didn’t need words to know that this woman has been through hell and back a few times. I didn’t need words to know that this woman thinks of herself as the lowest of the low. I didn’t need words to understand that she carries such a large burden but with so much strength, even though I knew she didn’t think so. I didn’t need words to see her pain. I didn’t need words to see past her busy work and see her humanity completely exposed. I didn’t need words because her eyes said it all, loud and clear.

So what’s my new years resolution? It’s to make more eye contact. It’s to take more time to actually look at someone in the eye. It’s to stare long enough into someone’s eyes to see their humanity and not just the mask their wearing. It’s to stop and look at the homeless person in the eye begging for money instead of pretending I cant see or hear them. It’s to choose to stand in someone’s pain with them instead of praying for their pain to go away at a distance. It’s to use less of my words and more of my eyes and ears. It’s to be a reflection of Jesus not by smooth Christian ease but by action expressed in humility and driven by compassion. It’s to make myself more invisible so that Jesus can be fully seen and experienced.

Happy new year, everyone! May you experience Jesus for all He is this 2013.