I left my heart in...Ongole, India

 Well, after a nice 31 hour trip full of confusing airports, long lines of customs and security checks, layovers, people watching in the Delhi airport, talking to strangers, and airplane food I was finally greeted by my parents and sister running towards me in the Seattle airport. It was a beautiful reunion and suddenly my jet lag left me as I was filled with so much excitement to see them. The excitement didn’t leave me all day.  The rest of the day was filled with seeing friends, showing pictures and videos, and telling story after story. The taste of a starbucks and the luxury of taking a warm shower remind me that it’s good to be home. The only problem is I am missing the 82 children I had to leave in Ongole. I am finding that so many things remind me of them and even though I cant see them, they still give me joy just thinking about them. When I was sitting in the Delhi airport, I was looking at pictures on my camera and I realized a few minutes later that I was smiling from ear to ear. I looked up and there was a woman just staring at me. If only she knew the contagious smiles of the children I was looking at. It would make her smile, too.

My last day at Sarah’s Covanent Home’s was a beautiful day. I woke up early and made my way to the home. The night before, I sat in my bed dreading that feeling I would soon have when I said my last goodbyes to the children. God was so present in my last day there and he gave me the most perfect last day to share with the children. I spent the whole day celebrating, smiling, and laughing with joy over the kids. God gave me a different perspective; instead of thinking about the goodbye I thought about how grateful I was to even have met them. I celebrated the fact that these kids have entered my life and are now apart of my life, regardless if I am with them or not. I walked into Cedar’s room early that day and he was awake and moving around in his bed. Not everyday do I walk in and see him awake so I just thanked God right in that moment for giving me my last day with Cedar with him awake and laughing.  We laughed and played all morning and that time I spent with him is such a treasure to me.  When it was my time to say goodbye, I went around to each child, gave them a kiss and hug, and smiled. When it came time for me to say goodbye to Cedar, he was asleep. I picked him up and held him in my arms and prayed over him. When I set him back down, I looked at him and I said “see you soon”. I looked at him and had this wonderful feeling that our journey isn’t over yet. God still has something in store for Cedar and I. There’s no doubt in my mind ill be seeing him again, and seeing him again soon.

It’s a bittersweet feeling being home. I can be having a wonderful time with friends and family and all of a sudden I realize that I’m not in India anymore. I get that realization that tomorrow I’m not going over to the home to see the children. It’s been a time of celebration and grief as I have returned home. After a full day of reunions with family and friends, I was sitting on the couch talking to my sister. I was telling her about the transition I am in right now from living India and doing ministry at SCH everyday to adjusting to my life here at home. There’s no doubt I am experiencing just as much culture shock coming home than I did when I first arrived in India. But it’s a different shock. It’s the shock that I’m not apart of the children’s daily lives anymore. It’s the shock that my life looks a lot different than it did a few days ago. It wasn’t long after I started talking about Cedar with my sister that I was in tears.  I realized just how much it hurts to be away from him. Surely, I have not lost Cedar and he has a permanent place in my heart but there’s of a loss of being together everyday, a loss of wrapping my arms around him and loading him up with hugs and kisses. It’s a loss of being able to say, “I’m here, Cedar” to him everyday.  When I was waiting in the airport in Chicago, one flight to go until I get home, I heard a baby cry. The cry sounded just like Cedars and all of a sudden I was trying to keep myself together. I sat there and thought about how badly I wished he were sitting on my lap, ready to come home with me.  It was so hard not to just burst out in tears in the middle of the airport. I know in my heart that I have not let go of him, and I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t know if I will ever get back to a place in my life where I don’t ever think about him anymore or have that yearning to be apart of his life. He’s apart of my life now even if I can’t see him everyday. It’s hard to imagine my life without him now, or without any of those kids. When I think about my life without them, I am filled with so much gratefulness for the chance I was given to have met them. God is in the midst of writing my story and this summer, he introduced 82 new characters.

When people have asked me how this experience has changed me, I found that question overwhelming. I know that I have been changed by this experience, but how is my life here in Seattle different because of it? After reflection, I have realized that my life is different for a few reasons. I now have 82 children in India who are apart of my life and who I will think about daily until I see them again. I have a little boy in my life that I will always love like he is my own son. He will always be the first little boy I think of when I see any boy around his age. He will always be the little boy that gave me my first taste of a motherly love. I have now become another advocate and another voice for the children at SCH and the ones waiting in the government orphanage. I have also come to realize who God has called me to be and the role he has designed for me to play in this world. I have discovered my place, where my God-given gifts are, and a passion so big that could only be given by my heavenly father. I have discovered that this demographic of people is apart of my life calling and as long as I continue to trust God he will only expand that calling. I have received a greater confidence in who my God is and that he works best in weakness.

A few days ago, Sarah signed the papers for the 21 new children who are coming to SCH. They are now no longer labeled “orphans” but treasures apart of the SCH family.  They come with health risks and emotional baggage, but are now invited to heal, to be loved on, to be celebrated, to be given a chance at a life that is full of joy and love. Please keep them in your prayers as they have many health and emotional needs to be met. Looking at their pictures this morning, I was reminded that my journey at SCH has only just begun. I can’t wait to meet those precious faces soon.

Thanks for joining me in this journey I have been on. Your encouragement and support kept me going and your prayers truly carried me the whole way.  I am so grateful for each of you.

Dear Cedar

I write this on a Monday night. Today, I went to the doctor and then laid in bed all day. A few days ago, I woke up with a sore throat and a lot of pressure in my head. You know, the kind where you wake up and randomly you can barely swallow? Those kinds of colds seem to just hit you at the most random times, you can’t even anticipate it coming. For a few days, I was able to deal with it fine but yesterday night when I was over at the home, I could really feel it exhaust me. I also got a minor cut on my toe the other day and careless me, didn’t do anything about it. So this morning I woke up and my toe was swollen with pus and obviously very infected. This morning, I honestly felt like a complete mess! I felt the most sick I have in the past 2 months with a swollen and infected big toe. I went to the doctor, for a measly 2 bucks if I must say, and got some medicine. Then, I just went back to the apartment and slept for the whole day. It kills me to think that I have 4 days left with the children at SCH, and one of those days was taken away to spend in bed all day. For the past 2 months, I have been in great health (for the most part) and I think it’s funny that sickness and infection have just started to hit me in my last few days I have here. I’ve been going, going, going everyday for the past 2 months and now it’s almost like I can feel it all hit me at once. I am so determined to finish my time here off strong. Please pray that I will be able to strong enough in body and spirit to finish my time here, cherishing the little time I have left with these kids. No doubt, I am dreading that “goodbye” I will soon have to make.

Speaking of goodbye’s, this has been on my mind for the past week as I have realized that my time here is running out. How do I prepare myself to leave these children that I have been so involved with for the past 2 months? It’s hard for me to imagine life without them in a lot of ways. While I am looking forward to my homecoming with great anticipation, I know how strange it will be for me to just pick up my life here and leave. Although 2 months is a short time, this place has been my home for 2 months, I have been apart of these kids lives on a daily basis for 2 months, I’ve become well adjusted with the way life is here in Ongole. If anything, I will experience just as great of a culture shock when I come back to Seattle. Surely, it will be the most bittersweet ending to this journey I’ve been on.

One of the most dreaded goodbye’s I will have to make is to my little guy Cedar. Lately, I have realized just how attached to him I have become over the past 2 months. In a lot of ways, I have felt a motherly love towards him. I can’t understand the love of a mother for her child, but what I do know about that love, I’ve experienced a glimpse of it with Cedar. Never in my life have I been so in love with a child. To think that I won’t be apart of his life everyday anymore is hard for me, to say the least. I feel a responsibility to be at his crib everyday to hold him, to play with him, to make sure his diaper is changed and he has proper clothing on, to assure that he is being loved on everyday. The other day, I was journaling about leaving and it led to me writing a letter to Cedar. I thought I would share it with you.

Dear Cedar,

I remember the first time I saw you. How could I forget? It was the minute I saw you that I fell in love with you. It was the minute I saw you that I knew God was pointing you out to me. It was the minute I saw you that I was filled with a love I knew only could come from God. You were asleep but you were so content in the arms of the person holding you. I couldn’t wait to come back the next day and pick you up out of your crib. Ever since that day, I have been filled with an inexpressible joy every time I have come into your room to see you, whether you are asleep or awake. I especially love it when I walk in and see you moving around in your crib, with your finger in your mouth making noises, and doing your signature dance with your hands and legs in the air. I get so excited because I know that it means we get to play and laugh together and I get to watch you giggle when I tickle you or make funny noises in your ear. You are such a happy little boy! It makes everyone around you happy, too. I also remember the first time I saw you cry and get frustrated with yourself. It made me cry too, Cedar. I wanted to help you so badly and take away your frustration but I knew there was only so much I could do. I knew you weren’t used to sitting up for so long and your body felt weak. That was also the day I realized that you needed someone to walk you through the challenge of growing strong in your body. Even if you hated me for it, I wanted to be the one to walk you through your challenge of getting stronger in your body, knowing that what’s on the other side is the best for you. I knew that working with you everyday on sitting up and getting out of your crib would someday help you to walk. Since then, I have seen how everyday you have become stronger. You don’t get as frustrated anymore and you are more willing to sit up for longer amounts of time. Today when I walked in your room, you were already on the floor sitting up by yourself. You sat up by yourself all afternoon! I was so proud of you.

Everyday, you bring me such joy. Sometimes, your embrace when I hold you can turn a bad day into a perfectly good one. It’s almost time for me to go back to my home in America. I have a few more days in India to love on you and all the other children at SCH. To be honest, I am scared to leave you. I’m scared for that feeling I will have when I have to let go of you for the last time. Sometimes, it’s hard enough to put you back in your crib at the end of a day. How will I do that and know it may be years until I see you next? Its hard for me to imagine not being apart of your life everyday anymore-not being able to come see you and hold you, make you laugh, watch you grow and get strong. I want to be apart of your life everyday, forever. The reality is, I’ve become so attached to you and now it’s my time to let you go. Even though I wish I could say you belong to me, you don’t. You belong to Jesus. And the reality is he can take much better care of you than I can. He loves you a lot more than I could ever love you (and that’s a lot!) He can help you grow more than I can. He will hold you in more comfortable and safe arms. He will walk you through your frustration and growing pains more faithfully than I ever could. He will be there everyday, every morning to greet you, and every night to kiss you goodnight. He will never leave you.

Until then, I’m going to savor every moment I have with you. I am going to soak up all of your joy and never pass up a chance to kiss you. Cedar, thank you for being a constant joy and hope to me throughout this challenging journey I have been on. If I came all the way from America just for you, then this experience would have been entirely worth it. I can say with confidence that I will board that plane home in a few days a changed girl with a changed heart. And you have a lot to do with that. You have shown me a capacity to love in my heart that I didn’t know existed. You have been the doorway into the presence of Jesus. In my weakest moments, you have shown me the joy of the Lord. You have shown me that true love isn’t always easy, sometimes it hurts. You have reminded that the holy spirit lives inside of me, that I don’t serve a dead God but one that is alive and at work in my heart; A God that speaks so clearly and works miracles in my heart through people like you. Thank you for showing me the face of Jesus when I felt weak.

I can’t wait for the day I get news that you took your first steps. I am your biggest fan, Cedar. I believe in you. You can do it. I love you, Cedar. A piece of my heart will always belong to you. Don’t you forget that, you deserve it.

                                             Xoxo,

                                             Natalie Akka

Prayer Requests:

-         God would heal my sickness and infection and give me strength for the last days I have here.

-         God would prepare my heart to leave SCH and India

-         Money would come in for SCH for the new children they are receiving shortly

-         The children waiting in the government orphanage who need love and medicine

-         Strength for all other staff working at SCH full time

20 Treasures

Today was Sunday. Sunday at SCH means all 82 of the children are at the home because none of our children are in school or at vocational training. I love Sundays at SCH. To me, it means that I get to spend more time with the school kids, who I see very little of during the week. Sometimes, I feel like I completely miss out on getting to know the school kids because they go to school all day, come home and go straight upstairs to do homework. Sundays mean we all get to spend the day, all together, as a family. Sunday is fun day. We just have fun! Last week, we played water games. Today, we colored with chalk and some of the children rode bikes and tricycles around the courtyard. Sundays also wipe me out. It’s quite a crazy, loud, and sometimes chaotic place at SCH on a Sunday. The children are so excited to be able to play with the toys and have the day off, so excited it makes for an overwhelming day for us volunteers. Their joy and excitement over bubbles being blown in the air is about as equivalent to surprising a child and taking them to Disneyworld. They love the simple things in life! It just doesn’t take much to make these kids happy. I love that.  

Right now is a very urgent and critical time at Sarah’s Covenant Homes. For the past 2 months, Sarah has been working hard as an advocate for the 20 children with severe special needs currently waiting in the government orphanage. Sarah finally has the papers signed and the government is ready to hand over the children to SCH. However, SCH is struggling to pay the bills and is not at a place, financially, to care for the children and meet all of the demanding needs they will come with. All of the children are severely malnourished, anemic, neglected, and not properly cared for in the government orphanage. They sit on mats all day, with no stimulation, in their own waste, and are not receiving the love or care that any person needs to thrive and grow. They are emotionally and physically deprived. So when they first come to SCH, their needs are especially demanding as they come with many health problems, often so severe that they are near death. Sarah’s Covenant Home’s mission is to rescue abandoned children, give them a family and an environment of love to thrive and grow in. But nursing them back to health and ultimately saving their lives is equally the work Sarah does for these children. Sometimes I am amazed at the stories I hear of children at SCH when they first arrived. Just the other day I heard the story of our little Andrew, a joyful, talkative, active 3 year old boy here at SCH. A year ago, when he came to SCH, he did not walk or talk, cried for hours a day, and was so unhealthy and malnourished he was barely alive. And now he is a different little boy! So full of life, laughter, and personality! Or there’s my little guy Cedar who came to SCH so sick and bone- thin that people didn’t expect him to stay alive much longer; he was literally fighting for his life. And now he is a healthy little guy who has plenty of meat on his bones. These kinds of stories are the same story of so many of our kids here at SCH. Each and every one of them is a miracle. The fact that some of them can still smile and have joy after the kind of life they have lived is a miracle in itself. And it’s all because someone just gave them a chance. They are all living proof that the simple acts of love and nurture can turn a life around. That is why it is so important for people to donate to SCH right now, because SCH wants to be able to do the same thing for these 20 new children as they have done for the 82 they have now. The longer they stay in the orphanage, the harder the fight becomes for them to stay alive and have the chance to come live with us at SCH. By September 7, Sarah would like to take the first 10 home to SCH. These 10 are the most desperate for our care and are at a critical point in their health. Before SCH can take those kids in, they need to raise $20,000 to pay existing bills and prepare for their coming. Those 20 children need to come to SCH so they can have a quality life and they need you to help them get there. You are not only helping to rescue these kids from a life of abandonment and neglect but you are saving their lives too. You’re giving them a chance at life. Just watch what they will do when they are given that chance. It will amaze you. It amazes me everyday. Their society has labeled them worthless but we, here at SCH, declare them a treasure. Help us take these treasures home with us. Most importantly of all, please be in prayer for these kiddos. Pray that the Lord will release them into our care at the perfect time. Pray that God would give them strength in their bodies to stay alive. Pray for the provision of God for funds to come in.

Speaking of prayer, thank you for keeping Genevieve in your prayers. God is defiantly answering and her eye is recovering and healing so well this time! Just tonight, I saw that she was able to open her eye. There is no swelling, no infection, and her eye is responding well to the medicine. After 2 failed surgeries, we are all so happy to see that she is recovering well this time with no infection! Third time’s a charm right? Please keep her in your prayers as she still has more recovery to go through. The other day, Genevieve went back to school for the first time in months. Because of all her surgeries, she hasn’t been able to go to school. When I woke her up to get her ready for school, she shot out of bed and was so excited to get ready for her first day back. She was so happy to put her new school sandals on and wear her backpack. I felt like a total mom as I wanted to take a million pictures of her in her school outfit. She sang all the way to the bus stop. She really is such a happy kid and it rubs off on everyone she comes in contact with.

The other day, a friend was telling me about how she could never do what I am doing right now here in India. The first thought that comes into my mind whenever anyone says that to me is “I couldn’t do it either”. If only you could see how weak and ineffective I am on my own. And that’s just the truth about this whole thing; It’s only by the grace of God that I am able to do this. With what’s left of my energy, my love, my patience, my strength, and my joy is so limited and so very little. I am so limited in my own capacity to love these children and my strength to do it everyday ran out a long time ago. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to myself, “I really don’t think I can do this”. At this point in the journey, I see more and more everyday how it is Him who is doing it all. In my own weakness, he has made me strong. The weaker I become, the more God takes over. I grow more tired and weak here everyday, but God shows himself all the more through that. It’s so interesting how God works. Sometimes, I just think he needs us to get out of the way so He can give us what we are so desperately in need for. I think one of the most powerful things I have experienced here is looking back on all my days, all my weakest moments, and the times I’ve said “I give up”, and seen how God has turned that into some of my best moments here, my most joyful times with the children, and my most successful days of ministry. And to think that all I had to do was just step aside and let Him do it. My prayer has turned from “Lord, make me strong” to “Lord, make me weak so that your power can work through me”

“And the Lord replied ‘my grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’ Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now, I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over. And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” 2 Corinthians 12:10-12 (the message)

Here is how you can donate to Sarah's Covanent Homes:
- http://www.share11.org/ A non-profit organization that raises money for SCH. They ask for 11 dollars and then for you to tell 11 others to donate 11 dollars too. It's as easy as that!

- Sarah's Covanent Home's Make a donation directly to SCH

Watch this video to see just how much we need your help!

The Need

Home Sweet Home

After being away in Hyderabad for 4 days this past week, it’s good to be home in Ongole! As I took the night bus back to Ongole, I felt the saying “home sweet home” repeating itself in my head. After being here for 6 weeks, this place truly does feel like home to me. In Hyderabad, I was homesick for the small town life that Ongole brings and all the kids at SCH. So, needless to say, it’s good to be back!

Last Tuesday, at the last minute, I was informed that I was going to be taking Genevieve to Hyderabad to see the doctor. Her eye was becoming infected once again, after having her second surgery on her cornea. Genevieve was born with a cyst on her eye and in return, has impaired her sight in the eye. She has had a successful surgery to remove the cyst, but now doctors are working on putting a new cornea in to give her sight. Both surgeries she has had to repair the cornea have failed and her eye has become infected and swollen. When I took her to the doctor in Hyderabad, he decided that she would go in for yet another surgery to try and repair the graft in her eye-this would be her third surgery. So for 4 days, I was shuffling little Genevieve around an Indian hospital, seeing the doctor and taking her into surgery with one of our SCH nurses, who speaks very little English. It was overwhelming trying to navigate myself around a very large Indian hospital, communicate with doctors clearly, and take care of Genevieve post surgery. Once again, I felt the amount of responsibility that was placed on my shoulders sink in. Genevieve is now back in Ongole with us staying at our apartment and her eye seems to be doing well. Being the one responsible to take care of Genevieve full time has made me feel like her mother in a way. It’s a full time job! It makes me appreciate all you mothers out there because you never really get a break. I’m realizing that motherhood may be a long way off for me!

Things at the home have been going great! This Monday was Independence Day in India and so we got to celebrate with the SCH kids. They put on a festive event at the home, the kids dressed in their best outfits, and proudly waved their Indian flags. It was fun to be apart of a very big day in India. We also have had a couple recently come to volunteer for 1 month. They were here last year for 3 months and they have returned this year with a non profit organization up and running to raise money for SCH. Kody, is a professional photographer, so their main objective this time is to film the kids and make videos to promote their organization. He is an amazing photographer and has captured some really special moments at SCH so far. Their organization, called “share 11” is really unique too, it asks people to donate 11 dollars to SCH and then get 11 other people to donate 11 dollars too. With Sarah’s Covenant Home’s being so young (only 3 years old) they are still striving to make ends meet with basic things the kids need. Things like diapers and pediasure are two of the most expensive things on SCH’s monthly budget, yet they are absolutely the most important things on their monthly budget. Share 11 raises money to help meet those basic needs of the kids here. I hate to be one of those people that try to convince you to donate your money to a good cause, but it’s different when I am able to see so many deserving kids with needs that can easily be met by people like you and me. Seeing the many different needs and knowing that 11 dollars could meet one of those needs is exciting to think about. So consider going to share11.org and finding out about how you can make a big difference with very little money.

Update on Cedar- he is doing so good! For the past 2 weeks, I have been able to walk into his room and see him awake in his crib. This is a miracle in itself as the first three weeks I was here, he was asleep all day, everyday. Oh the joy when I greet him everyday and I get to see that big smile of his light up the room. Since he has been awake and alert for most of the day, he is doing so much better sitting up on his own. I have had him sitting up in his chair for an hour at a time now and he is smiles the whole time! From the little boy that slept all day and cried whenever you sat him up to an awake, happy boy who sits up for an hour each day with a smile is a miracle in itself. He is definitely making progress and should be able to start practicing standing up soon. It just goes to show a little practice each day makes a big difference! I’m so proud of him.

Seven weeks living in India and working at a children’s home for special needs orphans has done nothing but challenge and amaze me on a daily basis. I often contemplate what I will say when I return home and people ask me about my experience. It’s been the hardest seven weeks of my life that I would not take it away for anything in the world. I have fallen in love with 82 truly special and precious children. But the Lord is relentless in continuing to stretch me and ask me if I really trust Him on a daily basis. Never have I been put out of my comfort zone more, had to be more flexible and willing to do whatever needs to be done, and give up what I know to be familiar. I’ve been stripped of anything easy or comfortable. That’s something I’m still getting used to everyday. If anything, I realize everyday, more and more how attached I was to everything I have back home. I realize how comfortable I was, how I was able to think of myself before others more often, and how I truly took for granted the life of privilege I lived. I needed to be taken away from my life of comfort. I needed to let God grow me and stretch me. I needed to surrender the things I was attached to that deep down, really didn’t matter. And God has given me such a gift in this great challenge. And that is the joy of knowing Him and being given the chance to love people that have been called “the least of these”. It’s the joy of walking through the gates of SCH and knowing 100% that God has called me to this time and place to be his hands and feet. It’s the joy in finding comfort through rocking and singing to a child at the end of the day. It’s watching the smile on their face when you say “I love you”. It’s the contentment in knowing that beyond everything there is in life, I will always have Jesus. That’s why the challenge is so beautiful.

Prayer Requests:

-         Genevieve’s eye recovery. Pray for complete and full healing in her eye and that this surgery will be successful. Pray that she would have restored eye sight.

-         Pray for finances and provisions to come in for SCH

-         Pray that Cedar would grow strong in his body and his legs would have strength to stand and walk. Pray for continual joy in his spirit.

-         Pray for strength for me to run this race with endurance and finish my time here strong.

Rejoice! His Love Endures Forever

I am relieved to say that things have been quite mellow and peaceful around here for the past few days. Of course, I say that while 3 year old Genevieve (the little girl who lives with us while she recovers from eye surgery) runs around our apartment with bells around her ankles. There's always a bit of chaos around here but that makes for never a dull moment. Everyday is such a ride! 

Ezra, has returned from the hospital after receving surgery on his broken femer. About a week ago, we noticed that Ezra's leg was swollen and when we took him to the hospital the doctors quickly determined that his leg was broken. For the past week, Ezra has been in Hyderabad receving treatment and surgery. Today, he came home to stay at our apartment while he recovers. He should be with us for a while. I'm actually really excited to have him here because he is one of the boys I have made a strong connection with. He is, however, in a lot of pain. Please keep him in your prayers as he recovers from surgery. He has cerebral palsy so any kind of surgery recovery is made extra difficult and painful because of the lack of muscle and body control. He is such a sweet little boy and even in the midst of his pain, I see that heart-melting smile of his come out every now and again. 

We have had a world race team come and volunteer with us for the month of august. It has been really fun and helpful to have them around the home to help with the children. They have been traveling around the world,to 11 different countries in 11 months, doing missions work. They are in their 11 month now and so their last stop is SCH here in India. I have been so thankful for their company and being able to listen to their stories as they have been on one crazy and amazing adventure for the past year. And of course, having them share their experiences with someone like me who is obsessed with missions and travel, I think they may have sold me on the idea of joining the world race someday when I am done with college. Who knows...I could be in their shoes in a few years. Anyways, I'm getting a little too ahead of myself. With the team being here, they were able to clear out our storage closet at the home. They were able to pull out the wheelchairs and walkers so lately, I have been taking kids with CP outside for a walk while I push them in the wheelchair. To see the smiles on their faces as I walk outside the gates of SCH to go for a walk is priceless. Today, I took one of our boys Joshua, on a walk around the village and he was giggling and smiling the whole time. It's also nice for me to be able to explore the neighborhood a bit and take some one-on-one time with kids. This has become my new favorite thing to do with the kids at SCH, especially because I know how much of a difference it makes for our immoble kids to get out of bed and their rooms. I have also been able to see Cedar awake and laughing in his crib for the past 3 days as I have come to SCH every morning! I can't even describe to you how happy it makes me to walk into his room and see him awake and laughing after a month of walking in to see him asleep everyday. This has made for some really great Nat and Cedar time! 2 hours with this guy feels like 2 minutes. Time flies when your watching him laugh and adore being tickled and held. What I would do to take him home with me and be his mom. Who knows... maybe when I am married I can come back for him and he could be my son? But there I go again, getting a little too far ahead of myself. Besides having some great time together, he has also been doing a great job sitting up on his own. Since he is awake and alert, its a lot easier to work with him on sitting up.He has been doing so good with this and I can see that he is getting stronger. Regardless, I am so overjoyed to see him awake and one happy boy.

The faithfulness of God has been a consistent reminder to me while I have been here. The other night, after a long day and once again feeling overwhelmed with homesickness and loneliness, I was just laying in my bed talking to God. I was just telling him how I felt and soon I was asleep having a dream that I know God decided to deliver to me. In this dream, I was exhaustingly walking up a long ladder in a small log cabin. I was so tired and grumbling to myself the misery I was in. The ladder soon reached to a small and cozy loft with a window facing out onto beautiful scenery. When I reached the top, I was still moaning to myself while at the same time, walking without hesitation toward a man sitting in a pile of blankets peacefully looking out the window. As I said the words "and all I really want is a friend" I was crawling into his lap. The moment I plopped into his lap completely limp, I was instantly at perfect peace. I was where I was supposed to be. I was in the arms of Jesus. When I woke up, I knew that Jesus was holding me in the moments I feel so weak and alone. He has been holding me this entire time and he has been everything I have needed when I have needed it most. Sometimes, it can feel like I am constantly climbing a ladder. I grow tired and weak but he is faithful to be at the top, ready to hold my tired body and spirit in his arms. I dont think the Lord could have given me a more beautiful and clear picture of his steadfast love for me. Not a day goes by where he doesnt remind me of his faithfulness to bring me through each day with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. It's hard and he is stretching me more than ever but I am growing because of it. Even as I moan and groan as he challenges me, he is consistent to recieve me with open arms when the growing gets tough. He is taking care of me, walking me through each day with his patient love, and giving me the ability to recieve each new day that comes with joy and thankfulness. God is good. All the time.

I can say with full confidence that I am having the most amazing, challenging, exhausting, joyful, stretching, growing, satisfying, and rewarding experiences of my life.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." Psalm 23: 1-3

Thanks for taking time to read. Love you guys.

The Miracle of Love

It has been a crazy past few days! And like usual, I have been stretched as I have been placed in situations that I was not prepared for. But, here in India, you learn to just go with whatever is thrown at you. Living in India, everyday brings new experiences and surprises. But living in India and working at Sarah's Covanent Homes...well, that means double the surprises.

Our most recent child we have received here at SCH is an autistic boy named Benjamin. Benjamin is 13 years old and he was brought to SCH in December of 2010 after being found roaming the streets alone. We don't know what Benjamin's life was like up until he came to stay with us. Benjamin is severly autistic and the way he is stimulated is through biting people. And when I say biting, I mean a kind of biting that takes peoples skin off. Lately, Benjamin has been biting too much and causing a lot of chaos at the home. So, when many of our Iaya's (the women who live in the home full time and take care of the children) were away visiting their families for a few days, there was no one to watch Benjamin one-on-one to make sure he did not get up and bite people in the night. So, we took Ben home with us! He came to stay with us in our apartment for the night. It took us quite a long time to get him to fall asleep as he screamed, kicked, and of course bit. We ended up having to safely restrain him in order to keep him from hurting himself and us. Morning came, and we took Ben back to the home. But, once again, Ben was up to no good at the home and continuing to bite people. This time, it was much more severe and he was clearly out of control. By the end of the day, we had Ben being restrained in our offices, calling doctors to see what kind of medicine we can give him to help him calm down. 2 hours later, we decided that it was best for Benjamin to go to a psychiatric hospital. As we were leaving the home with Benjamin, we remembered that one of our other little boys was very sick with a fever, had not been eating for 3 days, and was very dehydrated. Cassie and I ended up taking Jeff to the hospital while the other's took Benjamin to the psychiatric hospital. We ended up driving to multiple places, getting blood work done, and seeing doctors for Jeff. As I sat in the rickshaw at 8:30 at night, holding a paralized and very sick boy in my arms, I had one of those moments where you stop yourself and realize the kind of situation you're in. I never thought that I was going to be given so much responsibility in caring for these kids, but what an honor it is to be their advocate and shuffle them around until they receive the medical attention they deserve. What a responsibility I feel the Lord has placed in my lap, but how honored I feel that He has entrusted these precious lives into my hands. How I take this responsibility seriously and with great pride.

Currently, Benjamin is still in the psych hospital being observed and tested for new medication by the doctors. He should be back with us at SCH in a few days. As for Jeff, he was able to get some medicine from the doctors and his fever has gone down. After taking him to our apartment after seeing the doctor, he is starting to eat again and is hydrated. In one day, we have seen Jeff go from barely moving and completley limp to kicking around a ball with his feet and laughing. It's amazing how a little special attention and love can go with these kids. I honestly believe that the encouragment and love we lather on these kids gives physical strength and a strong will to keep fighting against their ill bodies. What power there is simply loading up your love on a needy child. What a miracle it is to watch the transformation when they are able to receive it. I may not see physical miracles here everyday but I get to watch the miracle of love take place on a daily basis. As I watch their spirit's come to life with a simple smile or a hug, I can feel my spirit come alive too. I am reminded of how divine and beautiful the Lord has made the connection between human spirits.

This morning, as I woke up exhausted from a crazy night going from different hospitals, I felt pretty drained. In all honesty, sometimes I just miss home and yearn for the comforts of being surrounded with friends and family.This morning was one of those mornings. I listened to a podcast from my church, and with my random selection of messages, I soon realized that this was the just the message I needed to hear. It was talking about how God gives us an ability and with that comes responsibility and with that comes grace. God is not going to give me an ability and responsibility without giving me his grace to do it. I have been graced by God to do this and his grace is sufficient for me to make it through the tough times. I was so encouraged to be reminded that indeed, this is where God has called me and this is what he has graced me to do. How thankful I was for his never ending supply of grace this morning. "You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus"(2 Timothy 2:1) Praise God that he has given us all so many different and unique abilities and more than enough grace to fully use it for his glory. I walked into the home today fully energized and ready to get my arms around those kids. And I knew that it was by his grace that I was able to do so.  

Fun in Hyderabad!

Yesterday morning, I arrived back home in Ongole after being in Hyderabad for a few days. It was time for Rebekah to go back to the states, so since she was flying out of Hyderabad, I took the night bus with her so she wouldn't have to go alone. There, we would stay at an ICM guest house where 2 volunteers with SCH were already staying for one of our kid’s eye surgeries. Many of the kids have to come to Hyderabad for surgery because the hospitals in Ongole are not very good. But anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. The bus ride.....well, that was quite an experience, a hilarious one actually. They call these overnight buses "sleeper buses". I have no idea where they came up with that name because I'm not sure how anyone falls asleep on these things. We were blessed with the last room at the end of the bus.The bus is full of rooms that each have 2 bunk beds so that you are able to actually lay down in a bed and sleep for the 8 hours it takes to get to Hyderabad overnight., that didn't happen for me because every 5 minutes I was being launched into the air as the bus driver sped over a series of speed bumps and pot holes. I was literally clinging to the bed to prevent myself from thrashing around the small room. I was actually laughing to myself as I flew into the air thinking about how the bus driver actually expected anyone to be sleeping through this. Later, I discovered the bus had no shocks….of course it didn’t. 8 hours later, we were dropped off in the middle of Hyderabad at 6am and waited for someone from the guest home to come pick us up. In the meantime, we had a few people taking pictures with us on their cell phones. That was also something I tried to keep myself from laughing at. It humors me to think that people here want to get a picture with a complete stranger just because their white. The 2 men kept taking picture after picture with us because they were not satisfied with the pictures that were taken. Rebekah and I just stood there with blank faces hoping for our ride to come. Here in India, it’s seen as flirting to befriend or smile at a man. Men and women here are very separated and do not mix in public. So, it was a rather awkward situation.

            For the first day Hyderabad, we all were able to go out shopping together and see a bit more of the city. Hyderabad is a very different place than Ongole. Hyderabad is much more developed, populated, and busy! It’s a big city with a lot going on! The next day, we took Genevieve to her doctor’s appointment and went out to dinner and coffee. The place we went to dinner was really nice and had very tasty Indian food. I ordered “Poori” which is fried bread dipped in potato curry. Then we went to “Coffee Day” which is basically the starbucks of India. Then, that night, Cassie (another volunteer that was already staying in Hyderabad with Genevieve) rode the half sleeper bus back to Ongole. The half sleeper bus was just recliner chairs but it was so much better than taking the sleeper bus because I actually slept this time! And it was cheaper! Plus, I got to watch a bollywood film! It was the best! When we got back to Ongole at 5am it was so cool to see the always busy and loud city quiet and empty. A few people were getting up and starting their day, but that was one of the most peaceful rickshaw rides I have ever taken. Then, it was back to SCH! Since Cassie is leaving soon, I have been shadowing her for the past few days because I will need to take over her responsibilities at the home when she leaves. This means putting the orthotics on all of the children and keeping track of hearing aids and glasses for our kids. The things I have learned how to do here have really surprised me. It’s definitely been a great learning experience in multiple areas. Here in India, they don’t need to see a college degree or masters in anything! They just need someone who’s willing and able.

            The break in Hyderabad was very much needed and appreciated. It was fun for me to be able to revisit and see a different part of India a little bit more. The things I see here never get old and I am constantly reminded that I am far from home. Here are a few of those reminders:

-Being stared at by every person I walk past on the streets of Ongole. Walking around stores or being in a restaurant usually means there is a crowd of people that are staring and watching your every move. For example, today I had a lady closely follow me around the grocery store the entire time I shopped. That is still something I am getting used to!

- The smell of garbage being burned on the sides of the road. There is no such thing as a dumpster or public trash can here. Everything is thrown on the ground! And I mean everything! All trash finds its way to the ground outside because when it’s time for someone to take out the trash, they either throw it off the balcony of their home or take it outside to dump on the side of the road. Then, to decrease the size of the pile of garbage, garbage men burn it. So you can imagine that glorious smell of that. It’s pretty much the nastiest smell I have yet to take in.

- The cows and water buffalo that are constantly roaming through the middle of the streets. Water buffalo are used here for milk and labor. Cows are seen as sacred animals and are not to be fussed with or touched. So they just roam around eating garbage. Or every now and again, you see a few little piglets or chickens scavenging for food in the garbage piles as well.

- There is also no such thing as a public restroom. People just pee or poop on the side of the road. It doesn’t even phase me anymore when I see men peeing completely unashamed on the side of the road. This definitely adds to the “interesting” mixture of smells in India.

- Taking bucket showers everyday are still something I am getting used to. At home, one of my favorite things about my day is showering because it’s so relaxing. Here, I dread showers because there is nothing comfortable about cold water and using a bucket to bathe.

-Driving through our SCH neighborhood everyday is reminder that I am in a third world country. One of my favorite things to do is just watch life happen here. Women washing their clothes, doing dishes on a dirt floor, peering into their tiny 1 bedroom homes, watching kids playfully run around the streets with nothing to entertain themselves but each other. They are happy people and this is the only life they have ever known. That still boggles my mind. I find myself asking the question “why me? How did I get to be the lucky one that was born into such privilege?”  I know that is the classic thing to say when one is on the mission field, but there is really no other way to say it. We are blessed people and sometimes I can forget that.

That’s all I got for now! It’s almost been a month since I have been here and it’s flown by! I am looking forward to another month and a half I still have to experience this place for all it’s worth. Love to you all from India.

Dreaming for breakthrough

I have officially completed/survived a week of teaching school at SCH! At the end of everyday, I was pretty wiped but there were lots of good memories that were made this week. We had a lot of fun playing water games, which consisted of Rebekah and I spraying them with a hose. I love how easily entertained these kids are and seeing their faces explode with laughter as we splash them with water. We colored, we danced, played instruments, did puzzles, played with the rainbow parachute, and read books. I sure learned how to entertain kids all day and was challenged to be patient with the many different children I was working with.

Yesterday, Rebekah and I were able to take the day off so we went to a nearby market called "Baboogee" and did some shopping. We walked around the city a little bit and went out to lunch at the favorite resteraunt around here called "Ramya". It was definitely what we both needed and it was so nice to take time away and re-charge. After, we decided to stop at the home for a little to see the kids. When I got there, I went into the baby room to see if Cedar was awake. Cedar is the blind baby I talked about in my last post. Yesterday, I learned that Cedar is also autistic. Of course, Cedar was sleeping, so this time instead of letting him sleep like he does all day, I picked him up out of his crib and tried to wake him up. When I brought him into the office to play with some toys, I put him in a baby seat that allows him to sit up with his legs stretched out. Cedar did not like this at all! Cedar is a 3 year old boy, but developmentally, he is still in an infant stage. He cannot properly sit up on his own and whenever he is propped up, he immediatly curls his body into a fetal position. He spends most of the day just sleeping or laying in his crib. His body is fully functioning and physically this boy should have no problem walking let alone sitting up on his own. But because of his history-being abandonded and living in government orphanages, he is developmentally delayed. Now that he is at SCH, he should begin the process in moving forward in his development. Cedar just has not received enough one-on- one attention in helping him work through the challenges of growing in his development. No doubt, it is a challenge for Cedar to be awake and alert, sitting up and stretching his legs out.

As I sat beside Cedar in his chair, as he cried and hit himself out of frusteration, I completely lost it. I just started crying, right there with him. My heart broke for him as I watched him struggle through something as simple as sitting up and being awake. It was heartbreaking to watch someone I love so much not be able to thrive the way that I know they should be. I dream about watching Cedar run around, happy and free, able to experience and access so much more beyond laying in a crib all day could ever provide him. Eventually, I was able to calm him down by singing softly in his ear "twinkle twinkle little star" and "the itsy bitsy spider" After I was done, a full time volunteer told me that they have been hoping for someone that could come and work with him everyday. I like to think that God pointed Cedar out to me from the beginning for this reason. I can't tell you why I fell in love with him the second I laid eyes on him, but I can tell you that it was completely the work of God. I'm committed to him and walking him through the challenges he is facing, even if he hates me for it at first. Cedar has a bright future ahead of him and God is in the midst of writing a beautiful and powerful story for Cedar.  

My mom shared this verse with me the other day.. 1 Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard all that God has prepared for those who love Him" I have no idea what the Lord has planned for all of these kids, but I know that it's good. I can't even begin to comprehend how good God's plans are for us. Looking at these kids, the dreams they have for themselves are as much my dreams too. I dream of healing in these kids, both in their bodies and spirits. And to think that is only my limited, human, perspective. To think about the plans God has for them, what he desires for them, thats incomprehendable! Praise God that there is something beyond my limited human efforts and dreams. He dreams bigger dreams for us and completes our stories with something far beyond whatever we could imagine. If that doesnt give hope, I don't know what else does.

A Good Challenge

It's been a long and exhausting past few days! My job this week-teaching school! While many of our kids attend private schools and are gone all day, we also have a lot of kids stay home because they are not able to function well enough to go to school. So, we have a few teachers come to the home and do educational activities with them during the daytime. Our teachers have to take this week off to take exams, so Rebekah and I have been put in charge to teach school to our kids that stay home for this week. This is hard work! It's one thing to try and entertain kids all day but it's another thing to try and entertain 30 kids with severe autism and are all begging for your one-on-one attention. Rebekah and I have been challenged in our patience as multiple kids are constantly tugging on us for our attention and often end up resorting to bad behavior in order to get our attention. A few will hit and grab my face in order to get my attention, it's a never ending battle that I feel like they are constantly fighting. So, prayer is what is getting me through the day and the reminder that love is patient and kind. However, we have had fun singing songs, dancing, coloring, doing puzzles, and playing water games out in the courtyard. I have also been able to spend time with kids I feel I havent been able to spend much time with thus far and have enjoyed that time getting to know them better. Never the less, I am absoloutly exhausted at the end of the day and sleep quite well at night. On our lunch break, Rebekah and I were talking about the challenges of our day and she said something that really stuck with me. She said "Anything in life that's worthwhile is going to be hard." I think that's really true because while I know teaching these kids is hard, I know that they need it and it's a blessing for me to be able to be apart of their lives this way.

There are two little boys here at SCH that I want to share with you-mostly because they are two that have stolen my heart since day 1. Ezra, is a little boy who has Cerebral Palsy and has the sweetest smile you have ever seen. I like to come into his room at least once a day and say hi, even if for a moment, because that smile of his has the ability to make my day a whole lot better. When I have time, I like to take him up to the office and blow bubbles and bang around on the tambourine. To see the excitement in his eyes is priceless. Then there's Cedar, he's a blind baby, with one eye missing. When I first met Cedar, he would always be sleeping. This guy loves his sleep! But for the past few days, I have been able to catch him when he's awake and he is a little bundle of joy! He loves to dance-which looks like lying on his back with his hands and legs in the air, waving them back and forth really fast. He does this with a big smile on his face and his raspy little giggle. Cedar and I have had some good times playing with the music instruments, being tickled, and snuggling when he's tired. These guys have captivated me and I find that I can't stay away from them when I'm at the home. I love how God puts the most random people on your heart like that, I don't know how they became so iresistible to me, but I like to think it's for good reason.

Many aspects of working in this childrens home remind me of the past 2 summers I spent working at a camp in Canada for underpriviledged children. It's hard work, but it is entirely rewarding at the same time. You fall in love with kids the second you meet them and feel a sting in your heart when you think about saying goodbye. This never ceases to amaze and astound me. There's nothing like loving a perfect stranger so much that it hurts and knowing that it's completely not of myself and entirely of Jesus. If there is one thing in life that has shown me the heart of God the most are kids like these. I am thankful for the joy and presence of God these kids bring into to my life. There's really nothing like it.

                                

                                                             Ezra

                                                       Cedar

Healing and Faithfulness

Living in India, you can never expect or plan on anything. Any sort of "plan" is ruined within minutes of making that plan. Indian's just dont restrict themselves to anything regarding a schedule. This is something that I have come to observe and learn to adapt to while being here. For someone like me, who likes a schedule and likes to stick to whatever plan that is made, this has probably been the hardest aspect of Indian culture to learn to work with. So, yesterday, when I woke up and got ready to head over to the home, I was asked to stay home with the kids who are staying with us at the apartment. So, Rebekah and I stayed in the apartment with 3 kids for the day, all whom have individual medical needs and require special attention. I learned how to catheterize and feed a child through a tube all in one day yesterday. Did I need to go through SPU nursing to do this? No I did not. They showed me how to do it once, and there I was, released into something I most definatly did not feel comfortable doing but did it anyways. Caring for the kids at the home is one thing, but living with children who have special needs is another. That's where you get to do the dirty work. So yesterday turned out to be quite the unexpected experience in taking care of kids with special needs.

Today, I was back in the home working with the kids. Rebekah and I went around to each child and did a brief body check to make sure that none of the children have any issues that we are not aware of. We came across one boy, his name is Nicky, who is about 12 years old and has cerebal palsy. We noticed that he was very lethargic and very skinny. We talked to his Iya (his caregiver in the home) and she explained to us that he had not been eating very much and seemed very sick. When we took him up to the nursing station, we rubbed a cold washcloth over his upper body and gave him extra water to drink. While we were in the station, I learned about his story. About a year ago, this boy abandonded by his family and taken to the government orphanage. Here in India, the government orphanages are run horribly and any child that has special needs is easily neglected and malnourished. They are left to lay on floor mats all day, drug by their hands to be cleaned from their own human waste, and not given any kind of affection or love. This is why, when Sarah's Covanent Home's offers to take the kids who have special needs, they come into the home underdeveloped both physically, emotionally, and mentally and malnourished. Some don't even make it out alive from the government orphanage. Since Nicky is a more recent member of the SCH family, he is still recovering from being in the government orphanage and needs all of the affection and love that he can get. Sitting at the end of Nicky's bed, and wiping his frail body with a washcloth, was heartbreaking. All of us gathered around and prayed for Nicky's healing and I was reminded that God is still the ultimate healer, both emotionally and physically. Nicky needs healing in his body, but he also needs healing in his heart. He needs to know that he is important and that there is still someone out there that cares about him enough to fight for his well being.

After today, it is my goal to work with the children in the home that don't get out of their beds many times during the day. I have decided to pick a few children and work everyday with them, one on one, to help with whatever physical or emotional need they have. One boy, named Ceder, who has caught my heart since day one, is blind and only has one eye. Most of the day, Ceder just sleeps in his crib. It's my goal to help get Ceder up and alert and working on stretching out his legs and walking. I cant wait. Mostly because I know how strong this little guy is and i'm looking forward to giving him some good quality time.

Yesterday, I was reading my bible, and I cam across the scripture "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) God has given me the desires of my heart here in India. After dreaming of coming to India to work with kids who have special needs, the Lord has been faithful to fufil those desires in my heart. I feel so blessed to be here and so astounded at how good our God truly is. He is faithful to fufil our hearts deepest desire and reveal Himself to us in ways we never thought possible.

I'm having the time of my life and loving every step of the journey.

Peace and love,
Nat

The beginning of something beautiful

It was my third day today volunteering at the children's home. Something that I have learned while being here is that Indian's dont run on any kind of schedule or plan for the day. So everyday here is different and we just go with the flow with whatever comes up in the day. Everday, I wake up and the morning in the apartment is usually pretty slow, just eating breakfast, reading, and lounging around in the air conditioning. Anywhere from 11 to 1 is when we start making our way over to the home. When I get there, its up to me what I want to do for the day with the kids. Rebekah and I did some crafts with a few kids today and hung some artwork they have done up on the walls of our office. We also like to take kids who are unable to walk into the office so stretch their legs and arms out and give them toys or music to play with. This is has been my favorite part of working in this childrens home because I can connect with them on a one-to- one level and give them my full attention, away from the other children. Today, there was a little boy we were playing with who was so precious he made me laugh out of pure delight. He was born without any eyes so all he has are closed sockets. He was one of the cutest little guys I've ever seen. Aside from working in the home, life in India is so different and so rich in culture. Everytime I step outside our apartment, I am overwhelmed by the sounds of the beeping cars, the busy streets of people and bikers, the smell of garbage and curry, and the incredible amount of stares from everyone I pass by. It's rather awkward to be stared at by an entire city of people but I try to smile and wave so they know I'm normal person. The food is still something I am getting used to and with all of my picky eating habits, Im really working on branching out of bread and rice. We have a few of the children from the home living with us, who are recovering from surgery, so it has been nice getting to know them through a less busy setting. Everyday here brings new surprises and new experiences and I look forward to each day that comes. I have missed home more than I thought I would. One of the biggest things I have missed is life in Seattle- especially how beautiful it is in the sunshine. I have become so attached to my home and my life in Seattle that to immerse myself in something that is so far different is a bit of a shock. None the less, I love the challenge it brings and I love how different India is from my home. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here right now. I definatley have a new found respect for americans that come to live overseas full time to be missionaries. It's not easy and takes a lot of commitment. Otherwise, each day gets easier to adapt to the lifestyle here and I have the chance to love people that for most of their life, have never been loved. What a beautiful oppourtunity I have been presented and I couldn't be more grateful for it.
Peace and Love,
Nat

First day at SCH

It was my first day at the children's home today! I was so excited to finally get to meet all of the 82 children and see where I would be spending most of my time for the next 2 months. Upon entering in through the gates to the orphanage, I was greeted by a few children that came to see us. I then went around to each of the rooms, where the kids are seperated mostly by age and gender, and met the kids. Since many of them are unable to sit up on their own, I mostly held kids or sat them up in my lap. They love to be held! And I love to hold them! So it works out great! I learned today that mostly what I will be doing from day to day is playing with kids and holding kids. So I'm stoked! After the kids ate lunch, Rebekah ( another volunteer) and I went and filled up a pool for some of the kids to splash around in. They loved this and I think it felt good for them to escape the intense indian heat for a little bit. Man, it is HOT here! Something I am still getting used to. We splashed around together for a while and then we went back upstairs to blow some bubbles in the rooms. After this, we took a few children up to the roof and did some finger painting. At the end of the day, I was completley exhausted. Mostly because it is so hot outside, it is hard to stay energetic. My first day at the home was perfect and I can't wait to get to know the kids better. A few times, it was hard for me to keep my composure and not get teary eyed. This usually happens when I am with kids who have special needs so I wasn't really surprised. The love that God has given me for them is already overwhelming. This is something I know will get me through the times that will be difficult and challenging. No doubt, I can tell that these next 2 months will be exhausting. But the kids are showing me Jesus- and that is what will make every challenge worth it. Thanks for all of the prayers and I miss you all very much. Love from India, Nat

Today, I woke up in India..

After 25 hours of traveling, I arrived at the Hyderabad airport and was greeted by a volunteer and taken back to a guest house in Hyderabad. Since one of the little girls from the orphanage needed surgery in a hospital in Hyderabad, she came along and we stayed in the city for 2 days until her surgery on saturday. In those 2 days, I went to a big shopping center and bought my first Indian outfit's and some peanut butter (cant live without it). The next day, our driver dropped me off at the mall and I looked around. Basically these 2 days were very low key since her surgery wasnt until saturday. I did a lot of reading and sleeping. Then, after waiting in the hospital for 3 hours, we were able to head back to Ongole, where I will be living for my 2 months here. The drive was 8 hours long but it was the best 8 hour car ride I could ask for. There is so much to see here its almost overwhelming to try and look at it all. We drove through the crowded, busy, and noisy streets of Hyderabad into the outskirts of the city, through many farm towns, and small villages. The driving here is absoloutly insane! I felt like I was going to die at least 10 times as we would drove 80 miles per hour towards a moving truck and then swiftly at the last minute move to the other side of the road. Our driver also liked to blare Indian music, not only so, but the same song over and over again. I was laughing to myself as I looked around at the experience I was having- definatly an true Indian experience. When we finally arrived, I met my other 3 other roommates and went to bed. I still have yet to visit the orphanage but I will start volunteering tommorrow. I have had the chance to meet a few of the children because some of them stay with us in our apartment while they recover from their surgery. This country is so culturally rich and full of so many different and new things to experience and see. I am loving my time here already and am looking forward to the 2 months I have ahead of me. Here is a funny story to leave you with. While waiting in the hospital lobby the other day, a young man's cell phone went off. What was his ringtone? Baby by Justin Bieber (this one's for you court, em, and jane) except the voice was definatly not the Biebes. It was a woman. Looks like Bieber even has fans in India! except they like woman voices better. Well friends, I am not sure how often I will be able to update but it should be weekly. Thank you so much for all the prayers you have covered me with. I have felt them surround me like never before and I am so grateful for the support I have back home. You guys are the best. Much love, Nat

Before I go...

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain until you see their specks dispersing?- it's the too- huge world vaulting us, and its goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies." 

-Jack Keroauc On The Road

Here I sit, in my comfortable home, among familiar people, on my laptop checking out the latest facebook statuses and tweets. In 5 days, my life is going to look a lot different than it does now. And I am okay with that. In 5 days, I will be on my way to southeast India to a city called Ongole. There I will be working with an organization called "Sarah's Covenant Homes". Sarah's Covenant Homes rescues and takes in abandoned children who have mental and physical disabilities. SCH creates a family style home while providing special education, physical therapy, medical surgeries and treatments, and ultimately striving for a better life for the children that have been named "untouchable" by the social caste system. For 2 months, I will be living in an apartment with other volunteers and taking a rickshaw everyday to the homes to spend some good time with the kids and help out. In India (and many other countries too), anyone with a disability is immediately put into the lowest caste of their hierarchy social system. The group of people in this caste are called Dalits otherwise known as "the untouchables". They are seen to be so dirty and impure that they are not even worthy of being touched. With a passion for India and people with disabilities, God really delivered an opportunity for me this summer. As July 5 approaches, I can feel myself become more anxious and ready to leave my home here in Seattle and set out for a new adventure. Although there will be long and tedious hours of travel alone before I arrive in Ongole, I am excited to do something I have never done before and walk into something I know little about. I'm ready to get a little uncomfortable, see something new, see something familiar from a different perspective, take time to learn from someone across the world, and ultimately see God in the faces of kids that society calls unworthy. Without a doubt, I know that I will be challenged and stretched in ways that I have never been. I also know without a doubt, it will be entirely worth it. Thank you all for your support, encouragement, and prayers as I set off for my adventure in India. You all make me one blessed girl.